A Comparison in High-Fiving

Brought to you by the Association for Social-liberation
from the Hazards of Atypical Winking (ASHLAW)

Dear newest member of ASHLAW,

A high five is a celebratory gesture made by two
people, each raising one hand to slap the raised hand
of the other — usually meant to communicate mutual
satisfaction to spectators or to extend
congratulations from one person to another. The arms
are usually extended into the air to form the "high"
part, and the five fingers of each hand meet, making
the "five", thus the name. In addition to the standard
high five, several variations exist in order to add
uniqueness to the experience and to maximize
satisfaction. (ie. amazing!)
If one initiates a high five by raising a hand into the
air and no one consummates the celebration by slapping
the raised hand, the initiator is said to be "left
hanging."(or feeling bummerish) This is considered to
be a somewhat embarrassing faux pas. Initiating a high
five excessively can also be considered a faux pas.

The wink is an intentional facial expression made by
briefly closing one or both eyes. A wink is a form of
semi-formal communication, which indicates shared,
unspoken knowledge. (while easily posing all sorts of
unrecognizable confusion)
A "naughty wink" can silently indicate a shared secret,
such as if a salesperson gives a customer a brochure
and says, "Here you go... it's free". Infrequently, it
may also mean "got it" or "yes, I understand".
In Western cultures, women may wink to men they are
interested in dating, but this has grown out of
fashion, though still used occasionally. Winking is
also done by men to women, often to convey a message
of "I like what I see here" or "Hello, I am interested
in getting to know you". In most male-female contexts,
it has come to mean communicating explicit sexual
intentions. A stranger male's winking at a woman is an
explicit invitation for sexual act. (thus winking can
sometimes be incredibly dangerous and potentially
disarming)
In Latin American cultures, winking is also a romantic
or sexual invitation, but can also be used a casual
sign of recognition or of acceptance of behavior among
friends. In Nigeria, winking is a signal for
children to leave the room. Many Asians, especially
Chinese and Indian women, consider winking to be
rude.
Not all humans are able to wink voluntarily, and some
can only wink one (usually the non-dominant) eye but
not the other, while others are far better at winking
one eye and find it awkward to wink the other.

It is then conclusive that high-fives have a far
"higher" potential in initiating a more wholesome and
unifying experience in comparison to the derogative
implications that may be brought about through
winking. For instance if one were to teach their
children to utilize one of these particular gestures
for recess activities or socializing with friends it
would be surely unanimous that high-fives are much
more accessible and versatile for a wider range of
friend-making and social dynamics. Not to say that
winking has only negative implications for the
population as a whole but it does offer a narrower
range of physical expressions given the cultural
taboos that have been implied throughout the several
past centuries and prospectively the many to come.

Not to mention that the intense energy of high-fiving
may only further the inspirational feelings embed in
the human spirit while surely cultivating a more developed sincerity
to life which may be useful when trying to
be an insightful and positive person. It has been
documented that several individuals, in fact millions,
have refrained from substance addictions including:
coffee, tobacco, alcohol etc……(actually there are
three hundred and seven more but you get the idea) and have
become healthier and more sociable persons merely
through the humble and glorifying act of
high-fiving.(!!!!)

Hence the founding of High-Five Camp Florence 2008
coming into full swing starting this Saturday October 11th.
Bring friends, family or complete strangers
anyone is welcome to the wonderful world of
high-fives…..but surely bring any stray helplessly
confused miniature poodles from around the city for
they are in the utmost need of attention out of any of
us.*
Techniques such as "the double handed"…."the top to
bottom"…."the midair slow-motion snapshot"……"the
no handed lastminute
fallonthegroundlaughingeventhoughyourleg
reallyhurtsbad"…."the relaxed likewhat?icandig
noproblemamazing"…..and many others will be
practiced until the utmost perfection is achieved. For
we as an association are not out to convert social
expressions from one of lesser to one of plenty. We as
an association are brought together only to convene
with the deterioration of each and every culture spanning
the globe….the impossible
confusions brought to gender, age, race and social
class……and at last the pointlessness and
confounding autocracies brought through the useless
and outdated practice of winking.

-Eddy Winterbee
President, Humanitarian and co-founder of ASHLAW



*it has been brought to our attention that poodles have
been viciously spreading the act of voluntary
winklement throughout our city streets with such a
fervor that a great epidemic has been taken sight. it
has been spreading into our schools, libraries,
grocers and even our homes and has been dealt with as
a grave concern. their fluffy demeanor has only till
now given them sizable cover until the 2006 act:
Engaged Poodle Syndrome and the Potential
Deterioration of the Human Species Through the act of
Winking (EPSPDHSTW ).